It’s been a while since I’ve actually -written- anything.
Speaking of “been a while”… I went out to a club in RL tonight for the first time in years.
Back about… oh… 7 or so years ago I used to go out all the time. I frequented all the goth clubs in Vegas. I knew almost everyone. At the height of it there were club nights Thursday through Sunday and I’d frequently make an appearance at 2 or 3 of them. I had a group of friends I spent time with and often wouldn’t get home till 5 or 6 in the morning.
After moving to Texas I lost touch with most of them. When I’d come home to visit I didn’t go out to the club nights. I’d go to little local bars with my closest friends, and went downtown once, but I didn’t go OUT out. Since moving home I haven’t gone either. I was starting to feel bad about it because several of them knew I’d moved back to town, but anytime they asked me to go hang out I’d say no. So tonight I was talking to a friend and told her the next time she goes to the club to pester me to go with. This is of course followed with, “I was thinking of going tonight! Wanna go?”
Fuck it. I went. I did my makeup and got dressed up and we headed out. This club isn’t one of the main ones I used to go to. It’s a monthly thing and it just wasn’t my usual crowd of “goth kids”. When I’d go previously I still knew a decent portion of them, so I figured why not. When we got there (after a detour at Fremont Street. Thanks tourists. ) I was immediately struck by how…. different… it was. It was louder than I remembered. Though that’s probably because I’m older. It was too dark to really see anyone. I could have passed by half a dozen people I used to party with and I’d never have known. The drinks were, of course, over priced. We each ordered a drink and sat at the bar awkwardly smoking and looking around. One person came up to me and said I looked familiar, but I have no idea who they were. About this time I texted my bestest drinking buddy and asked if she was going to be there. Turns out she was at the bar down the street. So finished up my drink and wandered in that direction, after pausing outside to listen to an old friend tell me how he might have cancer. That was fun.
We get to this other bar about a block away. This is one I’ve never heard of and I guess they were doing a “Pinup Disney Princess” night. I’m not really sure, because I didn’t even go inside. Met up with my friend and her boyfriend outside, and that’s just where we stayed. They were already drunk but I had no interest in paying downtown Vegas prices for a drink. So we bullshitted and caught up and that was actually nice. But honestly, I’d have rather done the same thing at the cheap little local bar down the street from my house rather than this hipster “nerd” bar. After a couple hours they got a lyft home and my friend paid for their one overpriced drink, and we walked back to her car. Stopped at the gas station by my house for cigarettes and a large hard cider (for $2 might I add) and came home.
And why am I writing about this in my (mostly) SecondLife blog? Because I see so many people so often talking shit to people that play SL about how they should “get a real life” and go out and do things. I had a similar conversation with my friend on the way home. She was saying that I don’t go out and party anymore. And I told her that I’m tired of it. It’s the same thing I’d say to someone that criticized a person for playing SecondLife as much as I do. You know what, I partied. More than my fair share probably. I did stupid things. So many stupid things. I drank too much. I bar hopped and went clubbing and dated terrible men I met while drinking. I told her that I’d rather be “old” and happy than going out to these things and falling into that exhausting lifestyle again. I would rather drink my one hard cider and sit around on SecondLife in my onesie and watch Netflix with my Priest.
Sure, sometimes I still go out to a bar with friends. We’ll drink. Maybe get drunk. And then come home LONG before sunrise. I’ll go grab dinner with them. Or, more recently, brunch. That doesn’t help the “old” thing I’m sure. But it makes me so much happier now.
I’m glad I went out. I’m glad I didn’t say no and blow off my friend. It WAS fun seeing her and I enjoyed doing my makeup for the first time in ages. But I’m glad it really confirmed what I had suspected about just not wanting that life anymore. I knew it didn’t sound appealing like it did 7 years ago. But I wondered if I’d still enjoy it. And at the end of the day… I don’t.
Now if you’ll excuse me, my bed and my kindle are calling to me.