New mesh head & things & stuff

FaunElfLily

I actually bought the new MiMi head from The Sugar Garden! TSG is one of my favorite stores, but the other heads just never really did anything for me. I thought they looked a little too derpaderp as I like to say. This one seems to work out better for me though. I’m still not quite used to it, but I do like that hair actually fits on it, unlike the head I have from TMP. Without an alpha layer for fitting hair, the TMP really limits your choices. Ones that actually covered the whole scalp were kind of few and far between. NONE of the Little Bones hair I have would fit it. And only some of Truth/Spellbound/Magika and so on. Anyways, so far I rather like it.

Club has been doing ok. Been getting more apps in lately. And of course a few griefers and trolls. lol. But that’s to be expected with any club, especially when the traffic gets to be decent. My favorite thing is when a guy comes in with his cock out. We have a hud we can use to put a pink skirt on them that follows them around the sim. xD It makes me happy. Sometimes I’ll also wear my bling penis and chase them around with that. I might as well be entertained by them before they get banned after all.

There are some things that I can’t write about, for various reasons. Nothing bad just things that I don’t really want to try to find words for. Got some good news today though so, hooray for that! Takes a definite weight off our shoulders as a whole.

Other things are still sort of weighing on my mind though, And I’m not sure how to really go into detail about them. Partially because I get shy and… anxious and unsure of myself sometimes. Especially when it comes to random moments when my self esteem may not be so high. I don’t know. Sometimes I just need to feel special. Which sounds silly in a way. I mean, I know I’m special. I know who I am and where I stand with people, but sometimes I still need to feel that little something extra that makes my brain stop functioning for a little while. And it’s hard to bring that up, especially when there are other, more important things at hand than how I may or may not feel. I’m terrible about things like this sometimes. It takes me a while to work myself up to talking about my feelings. And the more I think the conversation will bother someone, the longer I put it off. Or the longer I try to ignore it or rationalize it away. But ugggghg highb;odifhgsoihg. Brain stopping.

Ok. Basically I think it boils down to me not wanting to be a bother to anyone else. I want to take care of the people that I love in any way that I can. And I have always, and will always, put the emotional needs of them over my own. Even when I know I don’t have to. Even when I know that I probably shouldn’t, But my own little feelings of insecurity or doubt seem so insignificant compared to the big picture.

I don’t know. Since other things are getting better then maybe I can address my random, broken thoughts sometime in the near-ish future. This week didn’t really go how I wanted it to, but some of that is definitely my own fault because I didn’t bring it up. Because I didn’t want to be a bother. And annoying.. And…sigh. I don’t even really know what I’m trying to accomplish by writing this at the moment. I guess I needed to just get some of it off my chest even though it’s all in vague, abstract ways that won’t really make sense outside of my own head.

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